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Friends
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| Today my best frenemy, Krissy, had her baby. Emma Grace, 6 lbs, 3 oz. That’s really all I have to say about that because to say what’s really on my mind would be bad karma and I’m just not gonna go there. One thing I will say though, is that newborns skeeve me out. They’re all wrinkly and red and gross and almost always ugly – and I mean even my own here, not just Krissy’s – and I don’t know what to say to people when I’m shown pictures of a newborn. (And the pictures have begun…the kid’s only 8 hours old and there’s already a 40 picture album of her on Facebook.) I haven’t even met my own sister yet, who’s 10 months old, largely because little babies freak me out and I didn’t want to be put in a situation where I’d be forced to hold her and I’d look like a dick if I refused. I just don’t like them. Now that Rachael’s 10 months old, we’re good and I’m looking forward to seeing her for the first time at Xmas. Now she’s solid and can sit up by herself and stuff, I don’t have to support her neck and all that shit with newborns, so we’re gonna get along just fine.
Anyway, babies are gross. I’m glad I’m done having them and that none of my friends want any.
Right now I feel all kinds of barfy because of the Naproxen I’m taking. Even taking it with food and taking the Nexium in the morning, that evening dose just fucking kills me. I find cold water helps with the nausea, usually, but it doesn’t seem to be helping tonight.
All day today I worked on the girls that will be going on my ATCs which has practically given me carpal tunnel and one hell of a back ache. Drawing girls in miniature is a whole lot harder than drawing them full-sized but even harder than that is shading the damn things. The brushes I have are all too big to do the best job possible and I already know Curry’s doesn’t sell smaller angled brushes, so I just had to make do with what I had. Tomorrow I’ll paint their legs and faces and hair and probably the next day I’ll start working on their dresses.


And that was pretty much my day. Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m writing a blog post today because nothing at all even remotely exciting happened. Wayne stayed home from work today because he was hung over and Judy stayed home from work today because of her tooth, but that’s not very exciting either and I didn’t even go over there today. I only know that they both didn’t go to work because Blake was supposed to pick Wayne up from work today and Wayne called to tell him it wasn’t necessary.
Yesterday Judy’s abscess was so bad that all underneath her eye was swollen and it looked like she either got stung by a bee or someone punched her in the face. She works at Tim Hortons and said that people were staring at her and doing double takes because of her face on Friday, so that’s why she missed work the last two days. She has tomorrow and Monday off, so hopefully on Monday she can get her tooth taken care of. Wayne has tomorrow and Monday off too.
Anyway, I’m gonna stop babbling, just post this stupid entry and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow will be more exciting.
Mirrored from [SunnyCrittenden.com]. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| | Tags: | ashley, blake, courtney, fall, family, friends, judy, life, madison, sunnyland, wayne, wes | | Current Location: | Sunnyland, CANADA | | Subject: | Judy's 47th Birthday | | Time: | 02:24 am | | Current Mood: | hungry |
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| | Not x-posted due to a crapload of pics. | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment  |
| | Tags: | alex, art, blake, creativity, fall, friends, judy, kids, madison, ronny, sunnyland, wayne | | Current Music: | Hell Yeah - The Bloodhound Gang | | Current Location: | Sunnyland, CANADA | | Subject: | More ATC Madness!!! | | Time: | 02:26 am | | Current Mood: | excited |
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| Obsessed I tell ya!
This is what I spent my evening doing, while talking to Ronny & Alex.



Once these are dry I’ll mix glitter paint with glazing liquid and water and do a heavy coat of that on each card, then it’ll be time to start working on the girls which I have a feeling is going to take foreveeeeeeeer but I think it’ll be fun.
I won’t have time to work on the cards tomorrow as we’ll be busy setting everything up for Judy’s surprise party. In the morning, when Courtney (her 8 year old daughter) comes over because it’s a PA day and I look after her when there’s no school, Blake’s going to help her and Madison make Judy’s cake and then he’s going to start blowing up the balloons while Madison cuts metallic purple ribbons for each one. When the cake’s done we’re going to go over to Judy’s house to start decorating. Madison bought green and purple streamers (Judy’s favourite colours) and she already has two garbage bags full of blown up balloons, so those, along with the ones I bought, are going to be taped to the ceiling in the kitchen and living room so they look like helium balloons with their ribbons hanging down. We did this for Madison’s 4th birthday (except we filled the balloons with heart-shaped glitter and gave my cousin Haylie a pin ;o)). Madison’s also been busy all week making frog-themed decorations, which she’s going to tape up all over the living room.
As far as presents…I got Judy a box of hair dye and a pack of three lip balms and a birthday card that’s sort of cheesy but has a recipe on the inside which I think she’ll like because cooking and baking are her favourite things to do. Madison sewed her a stuffed frog. Courtney got her a plant and Alyssa, one of the kids down the street, got her two frog birthday cards to be from all the kids and she also got her a set of three ceramic frogs that are really cute. (Did I mention Judy collects frogs?)
I think I mentioned this already, but last Saturday Courtney’s best friend Mikayla (which I’m probably spelling wrong) and her mom took Madison to the dollar store in Barrie to buy the streamers and decorations for the cake, as well as the cake mix and icing. Then they went back to Mikayla’s house and they all made Judy a lasagna which is thawing in my fridge right now. Unfortunately Mikayla and her mom (whose name I believe is Sharon, I’ve only met her once and wasn’t introduced) can’t come to the party because the husband has the car that day and they’re homebound. I was going to talk to Blake about maybe calling and offering to come get them and drive them home afterward, but with everything going on and the fact that we need his help because he’s the only one tall enough to do the streamers and balloons, I’m not sure that’s going to be possible. It was really really nice of her to do all that though, making the lasagna and everything. I’ve tried calling her to thank her (and get directions for heating up the lasagna) but I keep getting their answering machine.
What sucks is that tonight at about 10:30 Judy called our house saying that she had a really bad tooth ache and she wanted the number for our dentist to see if she could have the tooth pulled tomorrow. That means that there’s a very good chance she’ll walk in as we’re getting the house ready, which I’m worried about. :o/ All of the kids have worked so hard on this party and they’re so excited that it’s a surprise and she has no idea that it would really suck if the surprise was ruined. There’s not much we can do about it though, so we’re just going to go ahead as planned.
But how much does that suck, having to get a tooth pulled on your birthday? And the worst part is that they don’t have dental insurance so they’re going to have to pay out of pocket when they’re already struggling financially. :o/ As Blake said though, at least we’re doing something positive that she can enjoy even though that aspect of her birthday is going to suck.(And hey, I have like, a metric fuck tonne of painkillers, so I can get her all high and she won’t even think about her tooth if need be.)
After we have the lasagna and do the cake and presents, we figure the kids are going to wander off to play and that’s when we’re going to bust out the cards to play Judy’s favourite game: euchre. I was talking to Wayne today and even though he has to work the next day, he says he’s up for staying up late to play with us (Judy has Saturday off so she can sleep in or have a nap).
All in all, I think it’s going to be a good day for her and godammit, she deserves it too. She sacrifices so much for her family and goes without constantly, which is why the kids all wanted to do this for her. On the weekends, when she’s off from work, she invites all the kids over and bakes with them or plays cards with them and like, her door is ever revolving with neighbourhood kids. I think it’s awesome that the kids planned this and were that thoughtful. In fact, they started planning this 3 weeks ago (it was Madison’s idea) and Blake & I only even heard about it last week!
Anyway, tomorrow’s going to be a busy but good day and I hope Judy’s surprised. It really sucks about her tooth though, I’m worried about that. :o/
Well, I should probably stop writing now and get some sleep because there’s a lot of work to be done tomorrow so I better not sleep ’til noon. Goodnight internets, I love you. <3
Mirrored from [SunnyCrittenden.com]. | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment  |
| So my mom sent me a link to this site where you can sell your ATCs (technically the ones for sale are called ACEOs - Art Card Editions & Originals) and some of them are selling for like, $50 a piece. Then she sent me a link to this site which links to eBay and some of the cards on eBay go for over $100.
But this site says that art cards are to be traded and not sold so if I sell some of mine, does that make me a sell out whore?
I'm making 60 of them, as I've mentioned, and I figure if I were to sell, I'd sell 40 of them and save 20 to trade since there are no local swaps here and I'd only be trading with people I know on the internet (and so far I only have one person to trade with). Each card, after I get them prepped with their backgrounds, is going to take me approximately a day or two to make, so I'm working hard on these suckers, not to mention the money spent on them, so I'm thinking if I can get like, $30 a card or so, why shouldn't I?
What do you guys think? | comments: 11 comments or Leave a comment  |
| | Tags: | facebook connect, lj_photophile, m.livejournal, mobile, notes, security patch, writer's block | | Subject: | LiveJournal Major Notes: Security, Mobile, Facebook, Writer's Block, and Notes | | Time: | 02:07 pm |
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( Read more... ) CurtainsThanks for joining us. To our American friends, have a fantastic Thanksgiving. To all of our international neighbors, we'll eat a little extra for you! | comments: 159 comments or Leave a comment  |
| | I'm assuming Belinda will know the answer to this: Do you just do the front of an ATC or do you do the back too? | comments: 8 comments or Leave a comment  |
| I love Blake being on vacation this week. Honest to god my favourite thing in the whole world is sitting around talking to him about anything and everything and that’s what we’ve been doing this week, mostly. It’s a long story, but right now he’s in Madison’s room having a talk with her about her little boyfriend Ashton, who’s been beating up grade 3 & 4 kids, including girls (he’s in grade 6) and how that’s not cool and that Madison either has to influence him to stop doing this or she has to break up with him. DRAMA! I have no idea how the talk’s going, but they’ve been in there for over an hour so far.
Report cards came home today. Wes got straight A’s, Madison had A’s, B’s and a C in math and somehow both kids are getting awards from the principal next week at a ceremony we’re supposed to attend. In fact because 250 kids are getting these awards, there are TWO ceremonies and each of our kids is in a different one so we’re literally going to be at the school all day. It’s nice that they’re getting awards and we want to be there to support them, but that’s a lot of sitting around watching a lot of other kids get awards too. Urg.
Blake & I were busy today. First, I was supposed to get a blood test this morning but Blake forgot about it and didn’t wake me up so it didn’t happen and we’re going to have to do it Thursday morning instead. (The lab’s only open Tuesday & Thursday mornings.) Then I got up and Blake was gone and the fucker didn’t leave me a note so I didn’t know where he was until he tweeted a TwitPic of a cutting board and a rolling pin, which was a clue that he was at Wal*Mart.
When he got home, we had breakfast and I took my pills and after a bit of digestion it was time to go to Barrie for art supplies and other errands. Since Marylin was curious about what I got and some other folks might be too, here’s the list:
Curry’s
- Two cheapo angled brushes, one smaller than the other
- One script liner because mine’s starting to lose its shape
- Two Micron Pigma archival markers, size 02
- 9 x 12 block of watercolour paper
- These neat little pre-cut blank ATC cards that were only $1.25 (I got the acrylic linen canvas one)
Michael’s
- Glorious Gold metallic paint
- Emperor’s Gold metallic paint
- Champagne Gold metallic paint
- Festive Red metallic paint x 2
- Gold glitter paint x 2
- Silver glitter paint x 2
- Red glitter paint x 2
- Weathered Wood crackle medium, 8 oz
- Triple Thick Gloss Glaze varnish, 8 oz
- Interior Gloss varnish
- Interior Satin varnish
- A metric fuck tonne of scrapbook paper & cardstock
- Green balloons and purple ribbon for Judy’s surprise party
- An archival Martha Stewart fine point pen
Exciting, no? Yeah, not really. Mostly I was replacing boring stuff I’ve either run out of or I’m about to run out of. I was on a pretty tight budget so there wasn’t any wiggle room for fibres or embellishments or fun stuff like that. Just the basics.
Since Starbucks is in the same plaza as Michael’s, we went there were I got a chocolate coffee (I dunno what they call their crap, I’ve never actually been IN a Starbucks) and Blake got some sort of caramel coffee with whipped cream and crunchy caramel things on top. While we drank our Starbucks, we went to Jiffy Lube to get the oil changed in the car, something I’ve never experienced before and it was BORING AS SHIT and after that we had to stop off at Blake’s work so he could check on something that ended up not being there but will be there tomorrow so despite being on vacation, he’s probably going to have to go in tomorrow to do whatever it is he has to do.
Then tomorrow night Blake has to go to the hospital for a sleep study because he has sleep apnea and our doctor wanted to send him in for another sleep study before recommending/prescribing a CPAC (??) machine or a mouth appliance.
And now we’re home with nothing planned for this evening other than watching V and perhaps me playing with ATCs. I also heard a rumour that I might be getting a massage later. Hmmm.
Anyway, that was my busy day. I know, it was riveting. Aren’t you glad I write this shit down for you?
Mirrored from [SunnyCrittenden.com]. | comments: 22 comments or Leave a comment  |
| My e-mail and website are down, which sucks. That has nothing, really, to do with this post, other than why this entry wasn't x-posted in both places.
So, I went to the doctor today, gave him my copy of my post-op report and pathology and we discussed pain management options. When I told him I go through about 200 Tylenol 1s a month (300mg acetaminophen + 8mg codeine each x 6 per day, minimum) and take extra strength Ibuprofen (400 mg x 3 per day) pretty much every single day, he just about ate his tongue and agreed it was time to get a hold on this issue, especially with my first period in 3 months coming up in about a week.
I have feared, for a very long time now, that taking that much acetaminophen (paracetamol for you Brits) is going to cause me to blow out my liver. Codeine? You can take a hell of a lot of codeine before it's going to hurt you, I'm not even sure it's possible to really overdose on it because you'd likely puke long before the dose got lethal (I could be wrong on that, just my experience with it) but acetaminophen is kind of a bastard when it comes to your liver and I've been taking that much of it for a long time now because Tylenol 1 is over the counter and it's hard to get a prescription (without sounding like a drug addict trying to score) for narcotic painkillers without having a damn good reason. My old doctor where we used to live, he knew the score, he sent me in for my first 3 laparoscopies for endometriosis and started giving me Tylenol 3 for my periods when was about 12. But when we moved, first I didn't have a doctor AT ALL for the first little while, then the doctor I found in another town was....very granola...and wanted to explore yoga and breathing and herbs and bullshit crap like that no matter how much I protested* and said I had this disease, I've had this disease for half my life and I needed pharmaceuticals. Mostly I think he didn't believe me, but also I think he was more of a health nut kind of doctor. The fact of the matter is, a lot of doctors don't like prescribing narcotic painkillers, especially not longterm, but (aside from surgery) that's exactly what I've needed this whole time.
Anyway, I stopped seeing this doctor because he wasn't listening to me, we just weren't a good fit, but mostly because his office was 45 minutes away.
Then for the longest time I just didn't have a doctor because I live in the middle of nowhere and rural towns like ours are the ones you hear about with doctor shortages (that part about the Canadian healthcare system is true, but it's getting better). No doctors in Barrie were taking new patients and a walk-in clinic wasn't exactly going to help me with my issues.
Then finally, our town got its own doctor about 2 years ago and that's who I've been seeing ever since, but at the same time, telling a doctor that doesn't know you that you have endometriosis ("how do you know?") and you need narcotic painkillers doesn't really get you anywhere. At most, until I had my surgery in March, he'd give me 20 Tylenol 3s, with no repeats, per month and he made me feel like such a drug addict where I practically had to beg for the drugs that I didn't even go see him every month because getting OTC Tylenol 1s and just taking a LOT of them (to the detriment of my liver) was easier and a lot less stressful.
After my surgery in March when I got my post-op, we literally went from the surgeon's office to my doctor's office with post-op report in hand and I pretty much said "SEE? Now quit making me do a little dance for drugs!" and he started giving me 40 Tylenol 3s per month, but again with no repeats and under the understanding that I would be having the laser laparoscopy with the province's best specialist in the summer and therefore afterwards, I probably wouldn't need drugs anymore.
Well obviously that never happened. As I've explained, the surgery has given me more good days than bad days and bad days, painwise, are about a 7 or 8 on a scale of 1-10, rather than a 10, but I'm still in pain. Despite the fact that I'm on the pill nonstop, my body is somehow STILL on a cycle and with that cycle comes fairly predictable pain. (HOW my body's still on the same cycle when the pill stops me from ovulating, I have no bloody idea. If anyone has theories, lay it on me because to me that seems like it should be impossible and I feared telling him about it in case he called me a liar - which he didn't.)
So today I went in there, and man was I nervous because again, doctors love to make you feel like a drug addict trying to score, and I showed him my post-op & pathology (which he took instead of making copies...I don't really care, but when we move I'm gonna need copies for a new doctor) and I explained to him how my pain works, how it's cyclical, how much OTC shit I'm taking and the whole works and he was like, "okay let's talk pain management then". After he saw my post-op and actually listened to me, he was totally cool.
So here's what I have now:
- He gave me an rx for codeine contin, which is basically straight codeine from what I understand and it's time released so I only have to take it twice a day. 50mg each, 6 repeats to be dispensed once a month. (Which I can piggyback with x-strength Tylenol if need be.) - Naproxen (250mg, 12 repeats), which is a mega anti-inflammatory that works but unfortunately makes me throw up even though I take it with food so he also prescribed... - Nexium (40mg), which is a stomach-coating kind of pill, commonly prescribed for acid reflux, but it'll help me keep the Naproxen down. I take that in the morning on bad days, then an hour later I take the Naproxen/codeine contin. - Tylenol 3s x 100, no repeats, theoretically for when I'm either not in enough pain to necessitate the codeine contin or if I'm in enough pain that the codeine contin isn't cutting it.
The rest of the time, he says to just stick with my Tylenol 1/Ibuprofen combo because he agrees with me that it's more effective to stay medicated and be ready when the pain hits, than to try to bring the pain down once it hits. I guess this is a pretty common principle in pain management, but I didn't know that until today, I just realized it myself from dealing with this crap for so long.
Also until today, I had no idea that you could just get codeine without something added in with it, like acetaminophen or aspirin. I literally cried on the way home because I was so relieved, this is exactly what I've been asking for for YEARS and it's finally going to be controlled and managed. I don't have to suffer anymore.
As my doctor said today, there is no cure for endo. All they can do is go clean it out, do what I'm doing with the bc pill to try & curb its growth and pain management. Now I've got all my ducks in a row, I have a doctor willing to work with me on the pain management and a specialist willing to work with me on the endo management, I'm fucking GOLDEN. I mean that, along with having my psych meds in order, I feel beyond great as far as my medical issues. It sucks that I have to take so many damn pills just to live my life, but hey, ya win some, ya lose some. At least the pills are there for me to take.
(*I've already done all of the above. I used to spend $200 A MONTH on herbs.) | comments: 21 comments or Leave a comment  |
| New Moon was the worst movie I have ever seen in my whole entire life. Period. Madison, of course, loved it, although she admitted that the werewolves were pretty fake-looking.
This movie was so bad that about halfway through, I left the theatre and went outside for some fresh air because I was literally falling asleep.
And Edward's lipstick, wtf? He was practically a drag queen!
Oh and the Volturi? They were like court jesters! Not the formidable mafia of vampires as portrayed in the book.
And holy shit, we were watching this thing with a theatre full of fucking retards. They laughed at shit that wasn't even remotely funny and some girls during certain parts were all "awwww" and then the theatre would laugh at them and I was sitting there wondering WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?
Oh and 3/4 of the theatre was women over 40. The rest were little girls and their poor, sad boyfriends.
I don't even have the vocabulary to properly convey the amount of suckage this movie contains. It was so bad I'm actually angry because it didn't have to be THAT bad. The book was okay (for the age level it's intended for) and they had a bigger budget for this one, so why was it VASTLY worse than the first one? The casting was horrible (Dakota Fanning? GO FUCK YOURSELF!), but then again I thought that for the first one too and the CG was abysmal. Have you seen The Neverending Story? Remember "The Nothing"? Yeah, that was basically what the werewolves looked like.
HORRIBLE. And now I'm gonna shut up about it and pretend I never even saw it.
PS. Wait, one more thing...the sparkle effect of Edward and a future Bella as a vampire in the sunlight? FUCKING STUPID. Okay that is all. | comments: 22 comments or Leave a comment  |
| | Tags: | alex, animals, blake, canada, childhood, fall, judy, kids, life, money, pets, pixel, ronny, the 80's, the 90's, wayne | | Current Location: | Sunnyland, CANADA | | Subject: | Oh But There’s Always The Hours… | | Time: | 04:44 am | | Current Mood: | awake |
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| I just woke up from yet another “end of the world” dream. In this one I was camping with my mom and her boyfriend when earthquakes started happening and the hydro went out all over the world. I’ve already been up for about 45 minutes so the details of the dream are fading, but there was a store on the campgrounds and I went in and had to save the girls hiding behind the counter from a brown bear that had wandered in after the first quake. It jumped up on me, like a dog that’s happy to see you, so like a dog, I grabbed its paws and kinda tossed him down off my shoulders, opened the front door of the store and it wandered back out. While the door was open, a deer skittered out behind it. The girls gave me a flashlight, which I brought back to our tent and that was the end of that segment of the dream.
The next one, I was in the town I used to live in and all the streets were black. It was winter and there were strange noises everywhere from people looting and vandalizing the town in the dark. I was thirsty, so fucking thirsty. I met up with my friend Heather from when I was a kid and she brought me to this ice cream stand inside a bowling alley where she knew the owners and they gave me a can of Sprite, which I chugged down like it was the last liquid on Earth. We all hid in the bowling alley in the dark with boards and baseball bats, waiting for the looters to break in.
And then I woke up thirstier than I swear I’ve ever been in my life and with an unexplained ache in my left jaw. I got up and chugged the half can of Coke Zero I’d left in the fridge when I went to bed, then I opened another one and drank the whole thing. Now I’m on my third and as I said, I’ve only been awake about 45 minutes.
This has been a common occurrence during the past week, waking up around 6am so thirsty I think I’m gonna die. Usually I go for Coke Zero when this happens because if I drink water I’ll just be up in another hour to go pee and orange juice is bad for your teeth if you’re just going to go back to bed.
Just now I tried going back to bed, but I’m having racing thoughts again and the attempt was futile. I’m tired though, really really tired. Again, I figure if I get these thoughts out of my head and “onto paper” maybe then I’ll be able to go back to sleep.
I watched Oprah on Friday, where she announced that the season after this one would be her last. I cried. I cried hard. Her show began in 1986, when I was 7 years old, and really, I don’t remember TV without Oprah. When her show started, I was being babysat by my Aunt Heather and every day after school we would watch and Oprah’s been a big part of my life ever since. No, Oprah and I haven’t always gotten along, there were times when she and I disagreed, but she’s always been there and it’s hard to imagine TV without her. I know her final show is going to absolutely destroy me. After I tweeted something to that effect on Friday, someone said something like “don’t worry, she’s getting her own channel”, which is true, The Oprah Winfrey Channel, which everyone now knows as The Discovery Health Channel, has been in the works since I think 2008 and is set to launch in 2011, but like her XM Satellite radio station, Oprah and Friends, it’s hard to say how much she’s actually going to be on it. The fact of the matter is, channel or not, there will be no more Oprah Winfrey Show and that makes me sad.
I mean, I knew it would have to come to an end sooner or later, I just wasn’t prepared for the announcement.
Tonight I read Oprah’s Wikipedia entry and smiled when it said that she planned on retiring in South Africa, at her school for girls. Truthfully, that’s probably where Oprah should be and it’s probably where she’ll be happiest. Did you know that in her will she’s left all of her money (she’s worth $2.3 billion, in case you didn’t know) “to the children of Africa”? That’s absolutely amazing to me. I can’t even fathom what that’s going to mean for the continent. If you’ve been reading me for any great length of time, then you’ll know that I worry and fret about Africa every single day, but at the same time, I believe that within my lifetime a lot of Africa’s troubles will come to an end and that the continent will rise up and become a booming voice in the international community. I know that’s an extremely optimistic view, but think about it: Oprah will probably die in my lifetime and what can her $2.3 billion inheritance do for Africa? I honestly don’t know the answer to that question because I don’t really have a clear concept of what you can buy with that kind of money or how to “fix” Africa, but I feel in my gut that it’ll really help things turn around. And I’m going to be very glad to see it, even if it’s from my nursing home.
In other news, Friday night Blake and I were just going outside to go have half a smoke and he was ahead of me so he opened the front door and all I heard was “no kittens in the house!” and he was blocking something with his feet. I assumed it was the neighbour’s cat, Misty, who occasionally spends the night with us when she gets locked out of her own home on cold nights, but no, through Blake’s legs I saw that it was a little orange tabby kitten, no older than 10 weeks old. Immediately I reached through Blake’s legs and scooped the kitten up and brought it into the living room to show the kids. The poor guy was dirty and definitely had a smell, so I figured he was a stray, but Madison, who somehow knows every animal in this whole goddamn town, said that it looked like her friend Alyssa’s kitten, Cheesy. Alyssa lives about a 5 minute walk away on the other side of the road.
So Blake and Madison went to see if it was their kitten and when they got to the house, Alyssa’s brother was there with his friend from next door, ALONE. These kids are in grade 3, who leaves two 8 year olds home alone? Anyway, Madison asked them if the kitten was Cheesy, the kid said yes and the cat was returned. How the little bugger got so far away from home and ended up at my front door, I’ll never know, and why do these stray animals always make it to my house in the first place? Between June and August, Madison and I found the homes of 4 different stray dogs! Not to mention the other 2 we found the owners of throughout the school year! And now this kitten? Blake says they find their way here because animals just know that I’m a sucker and somehow that must be true because they do seem to always end up at our house.
It kinda sucks that we found Cheesy’s home though, he was the exact kind of kitten I want when it’s time to get another cat, and I was kind of giddy at the prospect of keeping him. At the same time I’m glad we did find his home because Pixel would absolutely freak the fuck out if we added another cat to the mix and for sure she’d stop using her litterbox because there’s no way she’d share. (And we just got her using her litterbox religiously after almost 4 years. Our house is very small and there are only 3 places to put a litterbox. First I had it beside the washing machine, underneath the wash tub, but with the way the washtub is set up, there’s blocks under its legs so the litterbox was kind of suspended and she wouldn’t use it. Then I had it between the dryer and the furnace, which was all fine & dandy in the spring & summer, especially since she usually did her business outside anyway, but in the fall & winter when the furnace or dryer was on, she’d pee in it when she got the chance (when both appliances were off), but she preferred to shit under Blake’s desk. I didn’t make the connection that she was afraid of the furnace until just this fall and that’s when I moved her litterbox to behind the bathroom door and ever since she’s been a completely different cat. Much more relaxed and loving, not so skittish. gets along better with the dogs. And as an added bonus, because it’s behind the door, the dogs can get into it which they’ve been known to do. Anyway, since she’s so finicky about the litterbox, I know if we introduced another cat, we’d be back at square one. When we get a bigger house, maybe one with a basement where two litterboxes can be set up, we’ll get another cat, just not right now.)
This week was unseasonably warm and the giant spider that lived on a web strewn across my office window all summer made its reappearance and that got me wondering about what happened to spiders in the winter. I figured, because of Charlotte’s Web, that they laid an egg sac and then died and it turns out that I’m only partially right and it really depends on the spider. The spider in my case, is a garden orb weaver, and they most definitely lay eggs and die, while others in warmer climates, but that still have winter (just not Canada’s kind of winters) hibernate and others who lay eggs and die, their babies hatch before winter and keep each other warm in clusters around their egg sac. I’m wondering when my spider is going to die. She’s definitely got a male on her web, I’ve seen him (the males are smaller, so I know she’s a girl), so I’m assuming she’s laid her eggs already somewhere, but she’s creepy and too big to kill (she’s about the size of a twoonie) and I’ve been waiting for her to go away for a long time now because while I kinda think spiders are cool and I like watching they catch prey, I also think they’re really gross and when I go outside for a smoke she’s pretty much above my head and I have awake nightmares about her jumping into my hair. It’s irrational and I know she won’t, but the whole idea of it gives me the willies and as soon as I think she’s dead, I’m vacuuming up her web and when her babies hatch, I’ll be relocating them to my garden. Or maybe my neighbour’s garden…
On Twitter, my friend Poetic Dreams pointed me to a blog post made by Katielynn where she asked:
Who are you?
Really,
Truthfully.
Deep down.
Under the weight the world has put upon you.
Do you have an answer?
And it got me thinking. Who am I? DO I have an answer? The fact of the matter is, I’m 30 years old and still trying to figure out who I am because I’ve had so many setbacks in my life that finding out who I am has always sort of been put on the back burner. Does it matter if I know who I really am? I mean, I know who I am right now, is that the same thing? I know who I want to be, does that count for anything at all?
I think knowing who you are right now DOES count because everyone changes. But at the same time, I guess there’s who you are at your core and I guess if that’s the case I know exactly who I am. I’m the girl who, despite intense social anxiety, can put on a pretty good front and charm an entire room full of people. I’m the girl who gives away a lot of money to certain charities even though she can’t afford it because it’s important and there are people out there who need it more than I do. I’m the girl who’s insecure about most things and has low self-esteem in general, but who’s also brave and confident when it comes to other things. I’m the girl who’s not afraid of a challenge…most of the time. I’m the girl who can make boys cry. I’m the girl who sometimes doesn’t realize how much her words can hurt, even though she’s lived a lifetime of hurting people with her words. I’m the girl who, despite being 5 foot fuckall and 100 lbs at the time, can put a 6′5, 300 lb man in the hospital for fucking with her kid. I’m the girl who hates Guitar Hero with a burning passion. I’m the girl who likes to bake at 3am so her family wakes up to surprises in the kitchen. I’m the girl who’s helping the kids plan a surprise birthday party for my neighbour on Friday. (With the help of another mom who took the kids to the dollar store yesterday to buy supplies and who made Judy a lasagna for her birthday dinner that I’ll help the kids cook on Friday (it’s a PA Day). Also on Friday I’ll be helping the kids bake a cake and decorate Judy’s living room.) I’m the girl who’s already freaking out about turning 40, even though it’s almost a decade away, because I still haven’t grown up and I feel stunted. If I’m still stunted at 40…what does that make me? I’m the girl who sometimes wants to give up and go work at McDonald’s but doesn’t because that would give the haters exactly what they want and dammit, I’m stubborn. I’m the girl who thinks sex is vastly overrated. I’m the girl who takes 28 pills every single day and drinks way too much Coke Zero. I’m the girl who thinks the world would rather hug you than harm you. I’m the girl who’s helping to raise 2 pretty awesome kids. I’m the girl who always knew she wanted to be a mother and who made HUGE sacrifices to make that happen. I’m the girl who will take in any animal that comes her way, much to the dismay of her husband. I’m the girl who loves her husband fiercely and couldn’t live without him. I’m the girl who loves and hates with equal intensity. I’m a girl who’s easily distracted. I’m the girl who can spend an entire day reading about random things on the internet, who gets a hold of a subject and obsesses about it until the curiousity is satiated and there isn’t anything left to know. I’m the girl who sucks at sodoku and crossword puzzles but does both anyway. I’m the girl people claim to be intimidated by. I’m the girl who hates not having a book on the go. I’m the girl who doesn’t have a lot of friends and prefers it that way. I’m the girl who dislikes other people’s kids and their mothers. I’m the girl who seethes when people let their animals go astray and who don’t spay & neuter. (The aforementioned “other mom” who made Judy the lasagna? Her husky was in heat and “driving her nuts” so she just let her out to run through the bush and “if she comes back pregnant, so be it”. UGH.)
I don’t know if any of that answered Katielynn’s question, but I think it’s a good start. These things are at the core of me and will probably never change.
Blake has all this week off and that’s awesome. On Monday I have a doctor’s appointment to get some Tylenol 3 & Naproxen for my upcoming period and to make sure a copy of my post-op report is in my file. I want him to explain to me exactly what they did but I’m not going to sit there while he reads it and then have him explain it to me, unless that’s what he wants to do. I figured I’d just leave a copy with him, which he can read when he gets a moment and then he can call me in for another appointment to go over it with me. I just don’t understand why I’m still in pain and I don’t understand what all they did, especially the whole “cutting of the nerves” thing, which I never willingly consented to and which doesn’t seem to be working at all.
Also on Monday or Tuesday, I’m expecting a little bit of money by way of a cheque in the mail, so Blake and I are going to go to Curry’s and Michael’s to buy some much needed art supplies and probably get Starbucks because it’s in the same plaza.
For something I’m doing, I have to write an “artist’s resume” but I have no idea what that is or how to make one, so Blake’s going to help me with that also. I also had to write an artist’s statement which ended up being easier than I thought and once I iron out the kinks, I’ll be adding it to my site. It could only be about 250 words for what I’m doing, so the version that’ll be on my site will be a bit longer and more fleshed out.
On Tuesday I have to go to the lab for blood work. Oh joy of joys. They’re checking my cholesterol and doing a metabolic work up to see what the hell is going on as far as me being unable to lose the weight I gained while on that heinous medication. Long story short, we’re pretty sure, my shrink & I, that the medication messed up my metabolism semi-permanently and I may have to go on drugs to fix it.
Wednesday Blake has a phone interview for another position within the company and he applied for another one on Saturday so hopefully next week he’ll have a phone interview for that one too. Both positions are in Scarborough, meaning we’d have to sell our house and move. I haven’t checked to see if the house we want in Cookstown has been sold yet and I’m gonna hold off on that until things are more concrete so I don’t get my hopes up again.
Friday is the kids’ PA Day and Judy’s surprise birthday party, kid-style. Being a PA Day means that I’ll have Courtney too, so she & Madison will be baking and decorating the cake and I’ll help them put up streamers in Judy’s living room. Plus they both made a whole bunch of decorations that I haven’t seen yet, so they’ll be putting those up as well.
Then at some point on the weekend, we’ll be playing Euchre with Ronny & Alex and then probably playing again with Wayne & Judy.
It’s going to be a busy week, but a good one I think. I like it when Blake has vacation days and we can just hang out and do stuff while the kids are in school. We don’t get to do that very often.
Anyway, this is long and I don’t really have a whole lot more to say. I think I’m gonna go take some drugs and go back to sleep for a while…or maybe stay up and read some more of The Scarlet Letter. I haven’t decided yet.
Mirrored from [SunnyCrittenden.com]. | comments: 11 comments or Leave a comment  |
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Postcard winners!We wish to extend our heartfelt gratitude for sending so much joy our way. Frank is still blushing with excitement over the love notes, proposals, propositions, and occasional intimate photos sent from his admirers around the world (China, Norway, Japan, and Poland just this week)! At his request, we blindfolded Justin, one of Frank's BFFs, spun him around in five dozen counterclockwise circles, and asked him to point to ten random postcards/envelopes pasted to the wall. After a brief trip to the bathroom, he chose the following lucky winners, to whom we will give a six-month paid account token (for paid, basic, and plus users) or, for our permanent account holders, a $15 voucher for the LiveJournal gift shop.

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